HEY SUPS I'M BACK.

wow OBS. rocks ttm. :P super draining haha.

Just gonna talk about what i'm feeling for awhile before i go off to sleep. (:

mmm. I feel disappointed i guess?
OBS taught me how to be a leader.
But here I am, slacking like shit unable to lead my netball girls. -_-
Ytd we had a carnival at SP... The schools there were like PLMGS (_l_), SHS, St Nic, Sengkang, all those la, not in our zone one.
Than yep we played. I only played one game but that's enough la, because i just felt so bad I wanted to fall over and die at that very moment.
I COULDN'T TAKE THE BLOODY WA. Hello i was seriously floating around doing shit so badly that i really wanted to kill myself. Obviously I can't talk about this to anyone right? They wouldn't understand...
Ms Chia and Ms Lim were like shouting at me, saying stuff i couldn't really hear, I was straining and stressing out to take her, i was like flying. Yeah the feeling is like.. I was in a dream, everything i saw was blur, i couldn't see anyone, i gave her enough space for her to fly. -_-

So at the end of the 14 minutes I broke down. I cried like a baby. -.-
That was because I felt that I was playing so badly that i thought we lost. -_- And also because that was the first time i ever played so badly. -_- We could have lost you know... That feeling sucks so bad. ):

I really wanted chloe to be the captain for the first time. ._. You know. I worked so hard to come to where i have arrived. At being a councillor, at being the captain of CSS netball. "With great power comes great responsibility right" ? I MEAN LIKE I WANNA BE BUT I DON'T HAVE THE FREAKING POWER I DON'T HAVE THE FREAKING ABILITY WHAT IS THE WHOLE POINT OF PUTTING ME AS CAPTAIN WHEN I CAN'T PLAY HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THE CAPTAIN OF A TEAM BEING PUT IN THE RESERVES LIKE A BENCHWARMER?! HAVE YOU?!!

OBS is so powerful I was so inspired to be a good captain to the netballers. But ytd was another day i felt that the time and money and space was wasted on me.

♥ 2:58 PM